I know there is a prep school trend going on right now, but I had the misfortune to trip over some pictures of one member of the pop group Girl’s Generation in some one horribly styled preppy outfit. Now what’s funny is Korea has this thing about mega-pop groups. That’s my term for pop groups with way too many members. However, that’s good for me and my hateful tendencies because with so many people the odds skyrocket that someone will look ridiculous.

스쿨 패션이 요즈음의 시류라는 건 알지만, 난 운이 나쁘게도 팝 그룹 “소녀 시대” 멤버 중 한 명이 끔찍하게 망가진 촌스런 스타일을 하고 찍은 사진을 보고 말았어. 재미있는 사실은 한국에서는 “메가 팝 그룹”이 많다는 거야. 참고로 메가 팝 그룹은 멤버 수가 너무 많은 팝 그룹을 지칭하며 내가 만든 용어지. 어쨌거나 뭐든 꼬투리를 잡기 좋아하는 내게는 잘된 일이긴 해. 머릿수가 많아지면 그 중 누군가는 우스꽝스러운 패션을 보여 줄 확률이 팍 뛰거든~ ㅎㅎ…

In this case most of the members had good variations of the prep look but the pictured below has to be on the bad side of their stylist because the stylist forgot to give her a skirt! A word of advice girl, be nice to the people who dress you - bow deep!

이번 “소녀시대”의 경우, 멤버들 대부분이 다양한 스쿨 패션의 변형 스타일을 멋들어지게 보여주었는데, 유독 아래 보이는 사진 속 멤버만 디자이너한테 밉게 보였나 봐… 스커트 입히는 것을 깜빡 하셨지 뭐야! 내가 그 멤버한테 충고 한마디 하겠는데…

그러게 의상 담당자들한테 평소 좀 잘하지 그랬어~~ 경례도 90각도로 푹 숙여 좀 하고…

“좀 춥네…”

Everything looks okay:

• shoes = cute
• striped turtleneck = cute
• little black vest = cute
• knee high stockings = cute

However, the lack of a bottom to complete the outfit = TRAGIC.

It’s got to be cold when the audience has a bird’s eye view of your knickers undies. Apologize and be nice to the stylist from now on, okay?

사실 다 좋았어:
*슈즈 = 귀여움
*줄무늬 터틀넥= 귀여움
*작은 검정 조끼 = 귀여움
*무릅까지 올라오는 스타킹 = 귀여움

그런데 결정적으로 그 모든 스타일을 완성하기 위한 하의가 빠지는 바람에:
전체 스타일 = 꽝

관객들이 속옷 감상할 땐 너무 썰렁해서 춥겠어요! 의상 디자이너께 사과 드리고 지금부터는 잘 받들어 모시라구! 내 말 알겠지?

소녀시대 나머지 멤버들의 스타일도 감상해봅시다. 멋지게 잘 차려 입었고 싸구려 팝 그룹 스타일데로 여전히 귀엽잖아? 유독 그 멤버만 가슴에 한 맺힐 말이라도 한 거야?

Here is the rest of Girl’s Generation. Look at how nicely they’re covered but are still cute in that cheesy pop group way. I wonder what she said or did?

Translation/번역 by Vivian

우리 다 같이 ‘헤터레이드’를 마시기 전에 건배하자!

난성차별주의자아니다. 그래서 남자 연예인도 내 분노를 피할 수 없어. 그럼 우리 MC 멍청…아니…MC몽부터 시작하지.

이게 뭐냐?

Let’s lift our plastic bottles of Haterade for a toast!

I do not discriminate based on gender. Male celebrities will not escape my hate. Let’s start with MC Wrong…oh, I’m sorry, MC 몽.

What the hell is this mess?

“Baskin Robbins Is Hiring!!!/배스킨로빈 알바생 구합니다!”
양파 has that tense “I’m scurred” smile on.

하얀 모자랑 그 스웨터? 왜애애애애? MC라고 부르는데 무슨 패스텔로 나온 랩가수 본적이 있냐? 아니. 보니까 분명히 MC로 일하는 게 안되는 거야. 그래서 배스킨로빈에서 알바생으로 일하는 거아닌가? 아침에 일하다가 그냥 가게에서 나온 거아닌가?

MC라고? 진짜? Master of Cream아닌가?

A white cap and argyle? An MC in pastel argyle!!!??? He looks like he got lost on the way to Baskin Robbins to work a part-time shift.

No self respecting MC would be caught dead wearing this pastel monstrosity. Well, maybe a Master of Cream?

넘어가도록 진짜 노력했어요. 근데 이 사진들을 보면…

사강은 귀엽기한데 근데 한계가 있어야 돼죠. 밑에 사진을 보니까 사강씨는 이런 생각하나봐요: ‘우와. 난 너무 귀여워서 포토타임에 사진작가들한테 혀내밀어도 되겠지? 난 너무 귀여워서.’

I tried. I swear; I really tried to just skip these photos.

사강 is cute, I guess, but she doesn’t have enough cuteness to pull this look off.

The pictures just radiate this obnoxious vibe. “Oh, I’m so cute, and I just poke my tongue out at photographers, cause well, I’m so cute.”

Librarian-bot 1

허걱! 아무리 내숭이나 애교를 부리고 싶어도 패션쇼에서 완전히 애기처럼 행동하는 것아니야. 아마 애기같은 여자를 좋아하는 한국남자들이 있겠지만 여기서는 오바다.

음…넘어가자. 머리 아퍼.

Gag! And, throw a in bitch slap for just being such an obnoxious caricature! A woman acting like a child is generally NOT cute. And this is one of those moments where it ain’t.

Let’s move on, shall we?

Librarian-bot 2

옷은 너무 별로다. 진짜진짜 별로. 그리고 뒤로 보고 섹시한 눈빛으로…그 컨셉인가? 그렇다면 100% 실패한 거지. 컨셉은 ‘도서관원’아닌가? 아니면 ‘오피스 걸?’ 그런 행동을 보니까 그 수준인 것같네: “미스 홍! 녹차 두잔!” 그런 컨셉은 더 어울리는 거지, 그 혀내밀어던 행동이랑.

그런 섹시한 눈빛을 잘하려면 밑에 사진 봐봐요:

Her outfit is just BORING. I mean, really. It’s just boring. That whole looking over the shoulder move? It’s much better suited for an outfit that’s interesting or with an interesting rearview like a plunging back.

Not sure of what I mean? Check it:

In the back from Catwalk Queen

어떤 첫 인터뷰에 가는 졸업반 대학생이 더 멋진 옷을 입는데 사강은 진짜 연에인이냐? 다른 멋진 옷이 없나? 그리고 그 화려한 샌달은 문제아니지만 그 흑백 오피스 걸 의류랑? 그러 룩은 명동 사무실에서 일하는 여직원의 룩이야. 재미 없는 유니폼을 입어야 되니까 너무 야한 하이힐 신고 팔을 끼고 다니잖아.

University seniors going to their first job interviews could throw a better outfit together. What possesses any celebrity to wear that to an event? The ajumma at the corner soju tent probably had a more exciting ensemble that evening. Now, seriously. I’m a big fan of “less is more. Take a look at what I had to say on 이효리. I’m a card carrying member of the “less is more” approach to fashion.

I mean there isn’t much wrong you can do with a crisp white shirt and a simple black dress if you keep it simple. However, this is narcolepsy inducing. Assuming it’s a simple black dress coupled with a white shirt, why would you even bother putting the two together and going out to a media event?

Librarian-bot 3

사강씨한테 충고: 당긴의 스타일리스트를 해고하세요. 블라우스를 좀 빼고 액세서리나 잘 사면은 그 ‘후커 슈즈’는 좀더 어울릴 수 있겠어요. 그리고 어른처럼 좀 행동하도록 노력하고. 결혼한 30대 여성이 거의 됐잖아. 직업, 사회위치, 그리고 나이값대로 좀 하시죠?

그래서 혀는 입 안에. 5살때는 귀여운 표정이고…유명하고 결혼한 아줌마이면 안되는 표정이고…ㅋㅋㅋ

휴. 근데 그 백설공주마마적인 황재복 웨딩가운은 괜찮았는데… 모든 여자가 결혼식 날에 공주가 되고 싶은 거죠. 그 날은 예외다. 결혼하는 거지, 뭐. 이쁘네.

[From Newsen]

The shoes are equally as tragic. My read on this is the shoes are great if you’re a pole dancer. Now my personal dislike of the shoes aside, if they were worn with something from cocktail party level or up I would have moved on to another celeb in a tragic outfit. However, high heeled, gold, strappy sandals with this boring azz outfit? This is icky.

My repair steps: loose the shirt, add some interesting accessories and even the hooker sandals might have been okay. At least it would have been better than the librarian in stripper shoes.

Now in the grand scheme of things in the fashion universe, I’ve seen much tackier or tasteless outfits. However, it’s really the vibe swirling around the “look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” aura she’s sending out coupled with the REM inducing dullness of what she’s wearing. I think it’s the contrast that’s so offensive. And, if attention is her goal, well she got it. It’s just negative attention.

사강, my dear, hire a new stylist and fire your tailor. The fit on that shirt is horrendous.

Also, keep your damn tongue in your mouth! Poking out your tongue is cute (when you’re five.) Last I checked you were a 28 year old newlywed:

Now, as for the Snow White Hwang Jae Bock wedding dress, every girl wants to be a princess on her wedding day. Have to admit – it’s a nice dress.

Addendum #1:

A Haterade! honorable mention! It looks like Lee Hyo-ri is back to her usual tragic style of dressing.

The folks at PopSeoul nailed this one. Check it: Lee Hyori belongs on Hooker Hill

The dress is just simply tragic.

‘영들의 침묵‘이지. 아니 - 사실, 나와 양들이 그냥 핵갈리다.

이하늬씨는 아주 아름다운 여성이다. 근데 이 사진들을 보니까 ‘우와 - 진짜 아름다운 여성에서 이상하게 무슨 퍼포먼스 아트에서 나오는 양복(羊服)을 입는 거네‘라고 생각했어요. ‘양복.’ 이 거 장난치는 거지?

The sheep and I are just confused.

이하늬 is just gorgeous, so this is an example of how you can make even a gorgeous woman look like she wandered off from a flock of sheep. This one isn’t even funny tragic. It’s sad tragic.

[Honey Lee pics from PopSeoul and 스포츠동아]

아니면 - 혹시 하늬의 스타일리스트가 양이랑 무슨 팬타시있는 건가? 호기 스타워즈식 양들의 여왕?이 사람을 찾고 빨리 물어보고 싶다. 도대체 왜 이런 컨셉으로 했는지? 하늬는 너무 대단한 뷰티인데 왜 이렇게 했는지.

밑에는 원래 하늬의 이쁜 사진이다. 휴. 아깝다.

I just wondered if the stylist responsible for this “fashion” look has serious sheep shearing fantasies. (Or is this fool updating the Queen Amidala look for the winter?)

I wanted to track the person down and just slap some sense into them for picking such a crappy look for Ms. Lee. Who would want to make a woman who is simply a vision look like she’s ready to provide wool for my next sweater?

I want to rally for a “Just Sad” category on FMS ’cause it might be that “Just Funny” just doesn’t cover the level of pathetic it takes to do this to someone so beautiful.

Lee in her usual beautiful form.

This is my first time sipping on the Haterade here at FeetManSeoul, but hopefully, it won’t be my last.

I skipped around the celebrity news sites looking for a celebrity in a vomit enducing outfit. However, the photos that struck me the most were ones of 이효리 at this year’s Seoul Drama Awards held in late August.

The resident FMS hater for hire actually starts her first post here with a compliment. I’ll have to spread some first-class hate later on to make up for this!

Hyo-ri looked really nice in this simple dress. Now I would have tweeked a few things, but, no matter, she’s not paying me to style her. She looked good that night.

INews24 - 이효리]

Now this outfit coup is in stark contrast to some of the craptastical outfits of horror we’ve seen her wearing in the recent past. Let’s take a walk down fugly outfit memory lane, shall we?

Good lord, what on earth is going on here? A chain gang runaway with some demented scrap metal haute couture caboose attached with a bow? Oh, nevermind, there is just way too much fug here. Let’s just move on as that photo simply makes me want to claw my eyes out.

Remember this sad imitation of Beyonce’s great outfit? What the hell was Hyo-ri thinking?

Yes, that’s a short and shiny dress with dark tights and shoes – completely WRONG for that hot little dress!

Notice too, that both of these shiteous outfits have stripes. I’d like to be able to say it’s just Hyo-ri and stripes equalling instant doom, but we know there was some horrible styling going on here with both of these get ups.

Craptastic versus fantastic!

Hyo-ri’s outfit is so tragic that scolding your stylist isn’t good enough. You fire the stylist. What makes it worse is how damn great Bey looked. Swing that horse hair weave around Bey and show Hyo-ri how it’s done!

I’m glad Hyo-ri pulled it together for the Seoul Drama Awards. Let’s pray she keeps it up.

INews24 - 이효리]